It follows the script they want, which is that the person they are targeting needs their approval of their reason for pleading off. a s h l e y. Thats because I regard is as manipulative and Im very surprised that some people consider it a way to make saying no easier instead of harder. Agreed I dont think that the question signals the other person should do all the planning, i think its a way to judge how willing and able they are to hang out sometime in the immediate future. not? Of course, YMMV, and you know your family and the situation better than I do. Spot on, thank you. Him: What are your plans for the weekend? "It's Friday baby!! For that matter, even confident people can fall into the What are you doing Thursday? trap when theyre trying to sound unassertive. If banal small talk that most people use is offensive to you, thats on you to tell people, I think. If people cant come, you still have plans with the one friend! We received your email and will get back to you with a (human) response as soon as possible. I completely agree that when it comes to a duty (like babysitting) this question is somewhat unfair. Examples include: Good, nice sunny day out there. This is my first time commenting because so much of this rang true. Do you know the meaning of the weekend? If the answer is miserable but I dont want to get into it right now, fine-thanks still works. Copyright 2011 thru 2023 Jennifer Peepas, all rights reserved. But it can still be frustrating to deal with. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. I dont hear it much in my circles, and if it does come up I just say something noncommittal and wait for them to present a direct invitation or request if they want to. ' If you ' re studying, doing homework or anything else you deem daunting, this is a great text to send your crush. LW, this struck me as a pretty extreme response. But then theres her Im going to need you to be my helper for Christmas Day because Im getting older, and that doesnt seem so presumptuousits MY Christmas Day and MY extended family too. Maybe if the stress was a bit different? If someone just says yeah that tells me theyre not actually that interested. Like "How are you?" can be asked formally and informally, the response of that can be a unique one, too. There are still traces of that damage; Im still mad about it. There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. We all walk the kids to school together and she started calling in at our house every. And we do have fun and hang out occasionally. BLah, I realized I didnt finish the thought, I suppose that before I started responding that way they thought I was sitting alone rocking back and forth in the dark.. And LW is already handling the situation in the best possible way by giving noncommittal answers. I might not feel quite as entitled to her time, but Id probably still think there were some things I could ask of her that shed be wrong to refuse. It is a question that can be answered or echoed and nobody minds too much. Wow is all I got. Its really not you, its them. Basically, I dont think people are trying to be manipulative and I do think youre overthinking this, OP. There are several possible moves in response to this gambit. She gets what crowds people like and is on point with inviting me to the right events. The genered expectations in our family are much more of the women do the planning variety which can get super annoying when wed like to just go along for the ride every once in a while. What are you doing Thursday is a way to start a convo gently and without losing face, giving the answerer has the option of answering negatively, positively, or neutrally. Funny Bumble Answers #3: Rebel Without A Cause This answer is funny because it paints a picture in the woman's mind of a rebel, even in his youth. To put it another way, I guess: this is such a normal way to open a conversation that being annoyed by it means that you will be annoyed by a wide variety of people, forever. 11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses - VIDA Select Him: You must be doing something. ), (4) I just found a salamander, can I put it in your mouth?. Thats a way it can work, certainly, but why is it magically guess the exact time theyre free and what they want to do with no input if the person who first said lets hang out is then suggesting a time or activity, but something other than magically guessing if the person who first said lets hang out and is told yeah, we should is the one saying Saturdays are good for me, how about you? or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther? LW specifically gave examples of when it happens and why it annoys them, yet dozens of people are trying to splain that this is just small talk in their part of the world. Who on earth does #4, besides a small boy under 6? You? and see if he gets stuck in a loop. Reluctant runners just need a nudge. It takes a bit of confidence to state clearly and categorically what you want and then ask someone else to join in that thing, and not everyone has that degree of confidence. Why not set up a rent in dollars or set hours of work, and have done? Its the same here. I dont know. Seriously, both she and my sister are true extroverts, bless them, which is why I use the term hyper-social weirdos to describe them. I have to say that I get and have come to dread the variant Are we doing anything Saturday from my mom, who will use it to mean anything from I havent seen you in DAYS and I want to do something with you but dont want to impose by actually asking to I have received an invitation to something but dont want to desert you. The same is true for both indirect hinty inquiries like doing anything on the weekend? and direct invites like Are you available for X chore/ Y funthing Saturday between 2 and 5? Or noncommittal responses like dunno, maybe or definite responses like I will make time for a few specific fun things within specific timeframe, otherwise I am unavailable. None of these is universally rude; any/all can be considered presumptuous, pushy, passive, or otherwise inappropriate to specific circumstances or relationships (and fine/desirable for others), and any/all may result in added difficulty/danger if they are spoken to a person who has the ability to cause problems if displeased, and are not what that person wants to hear. If you have a new question, start a new topic. It shows that you're a calm and cool person who is easy to talk to and has no problem whether someone says hey or hello. Developed with the most common customer inquiries in mind, these responses give customer service reps the power to represent your brand with uniformity, accuracy, and speed. I have friends who do that, along with a SIL, and I also find it stressful/annoying. But most native speakers will still answer with the single word "Good.". Answer accordingly. What the letter-writer is doing seems a bit like foreign people not grasping at first that Americans dont expect How are you? to be answered literally. 1. 2. I might hang out with some friends on Sunday. If the idea is to make refusal easier, I think scripts like Im going to this show tomorrow, if youd like to join me and Do you know of anyone who might be able to babysit on Saturday? would be more effective. Certain relatives. We can debate all day whether that should be true, but it is. @Kacienna: Im saying that because in other posts, people have literally advocated for saying just No, thanks! to an overture like We should get coffee sometime. And I mean that is not just going to burn bridges, that is going to blow them up, and not just with the person youre speaking toits going to look Super Off to observers and cost you with them as well. Anyway, the grad students said one woman asked, How do you think she got like that? and others nodded with pursed lips, agreeing that there was something wrong there. Theyre private and you dont need to know them. Thoughts When He Texts "What Are You Doing This Weekend?" - Bolde I also get your daughter refusing to comply with requests that arent made with at least normal adult civility it was not even a request, in fact, but an order. You can begin with, "I hope this email finds you well," which has the same meaning as "Hope you are doing well". I find myself physically unable of disturbing her. It sounds like he'd get into some fun and adventurous dates. If that's not a good enough answer for them, walk away, because there's nothing more you can say. Saying no at that point feels rude, and yeah some people have reacted badly. I really appreciate that, even though my parents and I had conflict, they never threatened to kick me out if I couldnt pay the rent. interactions that I think stand a significant chance of blowing up in peoples faces. If they want to invite me to something Im interested in and available for, I can say yes, and if its something I cant do, I can say I have other plans, etc without it sounding weird. "Hope you are doing well" is actually a pretty common opening line when people write emails. How to Respond to a WYD Text - Sweety High When I issue a soft invitation I am often not sure if the person wants to hang out at all, and getting a Yes, get in touch and let me know when youd like to do something would encourage me to go on and do the planning whereas Yeah, we really should I would be more likely to read as I dont really want to do anything. Ive realized that people sometimes ask this question to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell you all about their exciting weekend plans. For all that the Your X is Valid thing is trending nowadays, you still need to be able to have basic conversations with people, which includes stuff like this. picked up a shift right off the bat. So in the next day or two, perhaps on some morning when you leave your house and shes there waiting for you, you tell her, firmly but cheerily with giant beaming smiles that the morning walks will be separate from now on because those are for you to have conversation with your children. Leisure time is notI give up my leisure time to hem her pants or help her move back from college or make her dinner. It always makes me a little uncomfortable, because Im not used to grocery store cashiers asking me how I am. :) Hope you like our compilation and try to stay serious ,please . My small college town has become a lot more cosmopolitan over my lifetime, and weve got enough of an international population now that Im deeply curious about many of the customers at the store where I work. Anything fun planned? So, since my unspoken fear in this situation is that Ill have revealed my availability for an activity I dont want to do and that Ill be too polite to outright say I dont want to go, I figured I might as well express it, even if jokingly. 2. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! If you have people in your life who you trust not to get offended at this exchange, definitely give this method a try. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Read. Ive spent some time in California and I never really know how to respond correctly. I think the reason is that telling people about fun things is potentially fairly personal. Like if I can magically guess the exact time theyre free and what they want to do with literally no input from them I guess I win hanging out with someone who wasnt that enthusiastic with the suggestion that we make plans? (This one will definitely keep them guessing.) The joke about (insert joke) cracked me up on your profile. Aunt: Are you doing anything this weekend? I think w/ friends, if youre open to the getting together, you can say, Were you thinking of trying to get together? in a hopeful tone. Me:why? Here are 11 ways how to respond to what are you doing when your crush/partner asks: 01 "I'm just here thinking about you." This is a cute response that will let your crush/partner feel special because you're letting him/her know that he/she is on your mind. Julia has been . (I know that I dont want to is in fact a perfectly valid excuse. Oh, yes, white supremacy/racism in action. We teach children that they must answer questions put to them by adults, that they have no choice in the matter. May suggest reversing the order of operations? I find the amount of people suggesting this interesting. If you want to push them to just say why they want to know, ask. Any fun plans? Can you repeat what you just said? We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. Ive got some stuff to do around the house, etc. You (if you are not up for it, whether the reason is actual business or not wanting to at all) oh, I wish I could I also think that most of the people I hang out with get this, and with the exception of more formal plans, would agree. Sometimes its totally innocuous, as LW said. I can get behind being annoyed with the sister whos trying to manipulate her into babysitting, but I think theyre reading a lot into the question when its being asked casually. Xoxo. to invent some activity or decide how much to share), and 3.allowing you to then respond either positively or negatively to whatever suggestion comes next. Im usually free Wednesdays and Thursdays, or I could do a weekend if we plan ahead., Translation: I want to have dinner with you sometime.
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